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The Abundant Life Blog

Chain Breaking -- Help I've Been Abandoned

Posted by cyndyadeniyi@gmail.com on February 12, 2019 at 4:45 PM

Perhaps one of the most devestating forms of child abuse is when a child is abandon and left to fend for themselves. Most often this does not occur because a mother left a baby on someone's door step. Instead, fathers and mothers get upset with each other and leave the child in the hands of the person with whom they just can't get along. Other times it is out of our control and illness, death, or incarceration separate parent and child. Abandonment is real, but it doesn't just happen to children.

Abandonment happens to adults as well. Spouses after decades of marriage are leaving with just a text message and sometimes not even that. Jobs that promised security leave former employees with everything but that. The reality of life for many is that sometimes we get abandoned.

From the church comes a common refrain... God will never leave you. It's supposed to be comforting. It's supposed to be encouraging. It's supposed to make us feel better. What do we do when it doesn't. What do we do when the reality that God is present does not heal the hurt that humans created?

One of the key parts of healing from abandonment is reconnecting, not just with God, but also with the imperfect people He created. He has created us to need one another. Hebrews 10:24-25 is very clear that connection is necessary. We do need one another, even though there is a risk of being abandoned again. Healing occurs when we are able to put ourselves in the same situation -- one in which we could potentially be abandoned and God is able to use that relationship to bring about healing.

This does not mean that we run into relationships with anyone and everyone. We are to carefully consider with whom we interact. ICorinthians 5:7-8 warns us of how a little leaven can ruin a whole loaf. We do have to be watchful and alert when it comes to connecting with new people, but we do need to connect with new people. Take some time to get to know people before they become a part of your inner circle. Do they attend church? Do they treat their co-workers and employers well? Are they kind and generous? Can they control their own anger? Do you see the fruit of the Spirit at work in their lives? These careful evaluations prior to letting someone in your heart can help prevent some, but not all future abandonment. 

Ultimately, the Lord knows all and works out all things for our good. He is able to sustain us when we have been abandoned, but we cannot reject His method for receiving fellowship which includes connecting with others. 

Categories: Mental Health, Trauma, Chain Breaking

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